1. Notes pleasant experiences together!
It turns out, divorces happen not so much due to an excess of mutual hostility, but because of the lack of common joy.
"We found that a good mood is extremely important in a relationship," - said the deputy director of the Center for the Study of Marriage and Family at the University of Denver Howard Markman. "The study found that the more positive atmosphere in the pair, the stronger the bonds become their marriage."
So how do you create a joyful environment for family idyll? It's very simple - we should start celebrating joyful and pleasant events together, and do it as often as circumstances allow.
The results of years of research strongly suggest that regular joint celebrations and fun activities help to strengthen loyalty, intimacy, trust and happiness in relationships.
It is not enough simply to rejoice in words for the success of a loved one, it is necessary to observe with any pleasant things happen to you though for the last month, though in the past day. After such a positive one and nothing can seem insignificant, but it is one of the pleasant daily smallnesses is constantly being built the foundation of your relationship.
2. The five-to-one
How many good things you need to compensate for the negative one wrong? Science provides an answer to this question - Five pleasant things guaranteed to save you from a bad one.
Of course, no need to meticulously count every unit of all positive and negative, that have occurred during the relationship, but the approximate compliance with this ratio will allow the boat of your love proudly rush toward family happiness, and not sink under the weight of mutual hostility.
In stable marital relationships positive five times the negative; and as soon as the balance changes, family life is coming to an end, which was blackened abyss breakup. Of course, in real life it is impossible to strictly observe this proportion, but in any case, even said the only reproach or negative remark from the mouth of your loved one should be countered by a few nice words, or deeds trifles.
3. Take everything from love to the max!
Many people say that their expectations of love relationships exorbitant. The results of studies say the opposite - the more you want, the more you get.
Do not adjust themselves in advance on the boring and fresh family life.
American researcher Dr. Bock found that people needing love as much as possible of romance and passion, to create a strong supportive families. While the partners who themselves are bad, what they want from their halves, acquire nasty marriage with a very shaky family idyll. Ultimately, husbands and wives, to be met by their marital union high, but reasonable demands, get what they want in reality.
4. Appreciate family and friends
Today, marriage is seen as a kind of vicious circle, consisting of two persons, who are themselves, without any help support each other. And it is absolutely wrong.
Include in your circle of family communication family and friends. Yes, your marriage - is sacred, but did not forget about all other friendships and family relations.
Dr. Kunz believes that too strong family spike is not too good for long-term relationships, as strong relationships spouses are only possible when they are not under pressure mentally and emotionally to each other. This, of course, does not mean that it is necessary to make the whole dirty linen in public and tell everyone you know all the details of your marriage. It's just a good way for married not to focus on each other, and maintain good communication with family members and their friends. According to science, the happiest couples are made up of those who do not spoil relations with their non-family environment.
5. Do not expect the second half, you will always make happy
Studies stubbornly assert that most people do not become happier in a relationship than they were before them, and do not take on the well-being even after such a large and gracious celebration, like a wedding.
Indeed, the very notion of happiness is ephemeral and deeply personal, and expect the second half of the mountain this grace, which it will bestow lifelong - is, at least, stupid and naive.
Lifelong happiness level of human remains relatively stable. Of course, there are significant moments, such as the birth of a child or marriage, which sometimes forced reach the outskirts of the seventh heaven, but the rest of the time people get as much happiness as they are available in principle. So, if we estimate their level of well-being's seven on a scale of 1 to 10, then most of the time, and this figure will dominate, and no blissful events can not shake her greatly.
6. Make love more often and more
Over time, the ardor of passion in marriage inevitably cools. However, the sad fact is you can always try to compensate for intimacy, which naturally satisfies the biological and emotional needs, about which it is better not to forget.
Well, among other things, regular sex life improves mood, making you more resistant to stress and calm, reduces irritation and helps to establish a strong and trusting relationship.
Couples do not just have a good time - they need more exciting activities that could bring the intensity of feelings to the level that was at the lovers on a first date.
The experimental results demonstrate that the more exciting and original couples spend their bye, the more they get pleasure from the relationship. And those who prefer the traditional formulaic and rendezvous are also consistently good, but boring to live in a relationship. Therefore, it is important to constantly couples experiencing something new, get new experience and share emotions. Try to make a list of what you're wondering what you can try together. Avoid the same entertainment, try to try something new at least once a week.